Salutations Reader,

My prayer for you today is that your week has been filled with more positive moments than challenging ones.

Living in Australia the last 2 weeks has meant seeing the results of Olympic events on my social media and then turning on the TV to watch the replays of that morning’s events.

I am inspired by the athletes who win, but more importantly by the ones who fail to live up to their own expectations.  Olympians spend their days for four plus years honing their craft all in an attempt for victory within the moments provided to them for their event.  Like all of us after we achieve, athletes are greatly excited when they end up on the dais.  However, those who fail often experience disappointment.  Yet, these same individuals, all too often, go up to the victors to congratulate them even as they experience the turmoil that has resulted from not achieving what they wanted to.      

How do they do this?  I believe it comes down to 6 important considerations.

1. Accept Your Feelings:  Very few people go through life without experiencing failure.  When failure arises, it is important that we allow ourselves to feel disappointed or frustrated.  It's normal to experience a range of emotions after a setback.   By acknowledging these feelings, we take the first step towards moving forward after failure. 

2. Be Kind to Yourself: I know for myself that when I fail, I often have the distorted thought that has me asking “why did I even try”?  Life has taught me, that to keep moving forward in life, I need to treat myself with compassion. Instead of harsh self-criticism, I often ask myself “what would I tell a friend in the same situation”?

3. Evaluate What Went Wrong:  I always tell my children that we learn very little by success.  However, there are many lessons to be gained when we don’t achieve what we want in life.  It is important to reflect on our failures and more importantly identify the factors that contributed to it and whether these factors were within our control or not.  As we reflect and take in the lessons from the failed experience, we are provided with the avenue to shift our mindset from negative to positive and make the necessary changes we need to make.

4. Own Your Mistakes: When necessary, it is important that we take responsibility for our actions. Avoid the temptation to make excuses or blame others.  In doing so we can take accountability and demonstrate a willingness to learn.

5. Reframe Your Mindset: Failure leads to growth. Rather than seeing failure as a dead-end, use it as a stepping-stone to the life you want. 

6. Establish New Objectives: After giving yourself the time to reflect on and grow from failure, set new, realistic goals. Break these goals into smaller, achievable steps to help you regain momentum and confidence.

7. Talk to Others: Remember, even skilled athletes use coaches and therapists to achieve their goals in life.  Be open to sharing your experience with friends, family, or mentors who can provide perspective and emotional support.

8. Act: Start implementing your new goals and taking small but ongoing steps. This will help you move past the failure and demonstrate your resilience and determination to achieve the desired life that you want.

Remember Try and Try again.

If you want support in overcoming failure and working towards your desired life, contact me at jacobswriting@outlook.com